For clarity’s sake, I’m not a deeply religious guy. I don’t really do church or services or anything like that. I was raised pretty much secular. I think faith is a personal thing and should be practiced on a personal level. I’m not a fundamentalist by any means. I believe in evolution. I know oil is dinosaur gunk that’s been rotting for millions of years. I’m just barely a reform Jew, and even then it’s tenuous.
Right. It pisses me off that there aren’t enough funny religious people to compete with the tidal wave of funny atheists out there. George Carlin, David Cross, Bill Maher, Adam Carolla, the list goes on and on. These are all smart people who are hilarious in my opinion, and their humor happens to be very anti-religion. That’s fine. A lot of it is really funny. Comedians should be allowed to make fun of whatever they want to make fun of.
But where are the quick-witted church-going artists who will defend their institutions? I know there are funny religious people. I’ve met them. I’ve had drinks with them until the bar closed. Why will no one go after atheists?
I’ve heard the argument that the material is too weak. Religion is easy, atheism is not. But I refuse to believe that. What about the idea that atheists will make fun of the Bible but will endlessly quote pop science books by a bunch of asshole scientists who most of the time can’t get their stories straight? What about the fact that all these atheist douchebags make fun of Jesus all year but celebrate his birthday anyway just to put up a tree and exchange gifts. How is that not a compromise of morality?
Religious peoples have a backlog of beautiful tradition and stories and great people, and all these opportunistic, I’m-so-edgy, hip atheist fuckwads talk about is the Crusades and the Inquisition. Well what about the fucking atom bomb? That scientific marvel caused a lot of pain. What about the official atheism of the Chinese government? What, those guys aren’t considered a bureau of cuddly genius teddy bears? Go figure.
But there I go blaming the atheists. If those assholes want to decry prosyletization, molestation, war, and all the rest while conveniently ignoring the charity, comfort, art, music, faith, human spirit, and handful of miracles offered by all religions then I am powerless to stop them. In fact rants like this only fuel their fire. Whatever. Atheists need to have fun while they can because really, life is much shorter for those guys.
But come on, religious people. Quit turning the other cheek and start fucking entetaining your brethren already. Let these uppity superior titfaces have it. They’ve won over a significant portion of this generation. Fighting fire with fire may be the only way to win ‘em back.
June 30, 2009 at 6:01 am |
Ha!
Interestingly enough, I’m in favor of this. Bring on the satire! I doubt I’ll be overly offended – and even if I am, what of it?
There is an argument to be made that there are so few intelligent religious individuals with a strong sense of satire because if they were intelligent AND had a strong sense for satire, they wouldn’t be religious.
This isn’t to suggest that there aren’t intelligent religious people – there certainly are. But there are twin streaks of insolence and irony at the heart of satire. I get the feeling that traits such as these don’t sit at all well with the religious motivation towards the (allegedly) sacred.
June 30, 2009 at 9:46 am |
We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
June 30, 2009 at 5:27 pm |
ROFLCOPTER!
July 4, 2009 at 2:00 am |
Bill Maher is agnostic, not an atheist. There is a difference between being anti-religious and atheist. Bill Maher thinks religion itself is evil but doesn’t pretend to know himself if God exists or not. And he’s right, no one really knows, so we should just admit that.
Winter solstice and traditions such as the tree and exchanging of gifts has been celebrated by humans of various beliefs going back to before Jesus Christ was born.
Most organized religions are not compatible with science and need to “grow up” and ditch their ridiculous required leaps of faith in order to be relevant in the modern world.
July 11, 2009 at 12:13 am |
Thank you, Phil! I can’t even begin to describe how refreshing it is to read something other than, “Religion is SO passe. Let’s all conform to the freethought movement!” It’s like those goths thinking they’re SO original for wearing black and listening to Marilyn Manson.