North Bergen Is Magic

by Wells

Hi, and welcome to this hour’s complementary Walking Tour of North Bergen. My name is Steve “Methadone Man “ McGough, and I am mayor of North Bergen’s homeless. You see, we North Bergen bums stage bona fide elections to determine who will be the bum mayor of the town. Think that’s interesting? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

To our right is James J. Braddock Park. That’s right; the boxer who they based the film “Cinderella Man” on was from North Bergen, NJ. And you see all those trees in that park? If you slide a spigot into the side of any one of those trees, you can draw French onion soup from it like sap. And the beehives are full of warm marinara sauce.

[But that’s not all!]

Advertisements