My Act, Which Is Not Yet Written

by Wells

I want to be an edgy comic.  My act will talk about things no other comics around NY will dare talk about.  I’m going to write jokes using these as my premises:

  • Office jobs are kind of awesome.
  • Marriage is something adults do.  Making fun of it is something sitcom characters do.
  • Christians are nice people.
  • Fat people are taxing the system.
  • Swine flu actually is serious business.
  • If people in America want their lives to get better they should probably get their shit together and stop blaming the government and their bosses for all their troubles.
  • The Amish make terrific pies.
  • Employed people who don’t understand personal finance deserve to die poor.

I’ll be bigger than Carlin.