The Phil Wells Dot Com

I Got A Big Mouth

Tag: twitter


This morning @dudesong sent its last tweet.  I set it in motion a year and a month ago and, in 3-hour intervals, it broadcast my entire epic poem to the world for free.

I gave it away because I was sure I couldn’t sell it.  I’d like to be able to tell you that I was being high-minded about my art and that the book wanted to be free.  But, frankly, if I thought I could’ve made money with it I would have tried.

Now I’ve got some distance from it and I feel relieved.  Ultimately a writer wants to be read and I’m glad @dudesong had a following.  Not a nation of followers, but enough.  I think the next step might involve self-publishing, mostly so I can have a copy to keep on my shelf.  I’m still skeptical that anyone except people doing me a favor would want to buy it.


Of Twitter and Neuroses

That said, what about conversation between two users who I do follow? Well, that can be fun, to a point. But what about when it’s not fun? There is no mute button for you fucking people. Our best option is to unfollow one of you chatty cathies to opt out of the entire conversation. But I don’t want to do that because I follow you because you’re brilliant and charming and I love what you have to say. Our second best option is to get all passive aggressive and then feel bad about it and then get over it because sometimes, you just gotta speak your mind.

I read somewhere that etiquette states that any @reply conversation that goes past two tweets needs to be taken to direct messages.  Sure, or, you know, a phone.

Slow-Tweeting Dudesong

I know, I know.  Plug plug plug.  You’re sick of hearing about Dudesong, my epic poem translation of The Big Lebowski, already.

But there’s great news!  Now you can read the entire book VERY SLOWLY by following @dudesong on Twitter.  Over the course of months or years, that very Twitter account will broadcast Dudesong one rhyming couplet at a time.  It’s already begun!

Imagine the envy in your friends’ guts when you start retweeting all your favorite passages from my masterpiece which, incidentally, is available for free download in its entirety.

Twitter, blog. Blog, twitter.

If all goes according to plan, this blog post will be automatically linked from my twitter account @thephilwells. Synchronocity!

Dear TwitterBerry,


What phone do you think you were coded for, the fucking iPhone?  I installed you on my Blackberry because you’ve got -Berry right there in your damn name.

I hate you.